Zasto muskarci lazu?


Nakon teksta zasto zene placu dobila sam pitanje sledece na facebooku :

Postavlja se jos jedno pitanje:Zasto muskarci lazu? Ajd,nadji i to,pa cu oba da ti maznem,hehehehe…… ljub….. :-*

Ja kao svaka dobra Tetka Saveta nasla odgovor:

Zašto muškarci lažu?

Ovo je jedno od najčešće postavljenih pitanja a odgovor nije lak. Vanja Lekić pokušaće da vam odgovori na to pitanje jednom studioznom analizom: kako, koliko i zašto muškarci lažu.

odgovara: Vanja Lekić

Ko su muškarci/o kome se radi? Definicije.

Muškarac je sisar, primat, homo sapiens – muškog pola.
Muškarac preko 200 puta dnevno pomisli na seks (sa ženom, drugim muškarcem, nekom životinjom … svejedno). Za istraživanje su korišćeni primerci koji misle na žene – jer su u većini.
Muškarac misli da mu je jedna od ključnih karakteristika veličina polnog organa.
Muškarac ne voli da bude nizak rastom.
Muškarac u izvesnom uzrastu počne da veruje da razume kako radi ženski mozak.

Da li muškarci lažu?

Da. Većina.

Koliko lažu?

U direktnom kontaktu sa ženom često. U pričama o svojim odnosima sa ženama skoro neprekidno.

Zašto lažu?

Osnovni razlog je nesigurnost. To je neophodna osnova/podloga za kvalitetno laganje. Na nesigurnosti sjajno uspeva nedostatak samopouzdanja. Dakle, muškarac laže jer misli da nije dovoljno dobar i želi sebe da predstavi kao nekog boljeg, nekog ko je, po nekim kriterijumima idealan muškarac. Žene imaju Cosmo, Elle, reklame … a muškarci lažući jedni drugima postavljaju kriterijume.

Nedostatak samopouzdanja, u stvari strah kao posledica, neophodan je za ozbiljno i uverljivo laganje. Dovoljno bolan da inicira laž i, što je možda važnije, to je kontinuiran osećaj. Muškarac bez samopouzdanja brzo savladava veštine laganja, pretvaranja i obmane i za kratko vreme počinje da živi život tog izmišljenog/izmaštanog/nepostojećeg sebe. Tokom ove faze u jednom trenutku pomisli da razume žene, da je video i doživeo mnogo i da je shvatio logiku, način na koji žena razmišlja. Tada je veoma zadovoljan jer misli da mu je moć manipulacije višestruko uvećana. To je ključni trenutak, bez koga ne može dalje a s njim nema vraćanja. Takav muškarac je u poziciji da pruži maksimum u laganju žena, i ponašanje mu dobija na spontanosti jer iskreno veruje da je on stvarno taj izmišljeni lik. Važan činilac je i veličina otklona od realnosti. Što više – to bolje.

Koje su omiljene teme za laganje žena?

Faza 1
Dok ne pridobije naklonost željene dame, muškarac se oslanja na oprobane metode. Opšta mesta su: broj partnerki (povećava ili smanjuje po potrebi), seksualne veštine, bliskost sa poznatim ličnostima, priče o demonstracijama fizičke snage i hrabrosti … U ekstremnim slučajevima, kod manje iskusnih obmanjivača, u obzir dolazi i prikrivanje fizičkih nedostataka (visoka peta, maskiranje ćelavosti i sl.).

Ipak, svaki muškarac naoružan dovoljnim nedostatkom samopouzdanja i time izazvanim strahom – vešt je i suptilan lažov. On je već zaboravio ko je stvarno i, gledano sa tog aspekta, on se ponaša prirodno.

Faza 2
Uslovljena uspehom Faze 1, počinje kad je naklonost željene dame dobijena. Tada muškarac poseže za svojim poznavanjem načina na koji funkcioniše ženski mozak. Ohrabren uspehom, nastavlja da koristi iste tehnike i, potpuno u ulozi, razbaškaren na osvojenoj teritoriji, on se opušta, postaje aljkav, prestaje da dnevno proverava da li je njegovo stvarno ja dobro zaključano – i dospeva u zonu visokog rizika. Jer i najmanja nepažnja je dovoljna da, tiho i u prvo vreme skoro neprimetno, stvarno ja počinje da preuzima kontrolu i emituje osećanja. U idealnom slučaju, negativna, čime se veza završava, i muškarac iskusniji ulazi u Fazu 1 sa drugom ženom.

A šta ako su osećanja pozitivna?

To je noćna mora čak i za vrhunskog obmanjivača. Posledice mogu da budu veoma teške. Međutim, praksa nam donosi i primere muškaraca koji su spremni da odbace obmane i prihvate svoja osećanja.

Da li takav muškarac prestaje da laže?

Ne. Inteligentni primerci se brzo prilagode i počinju da koriste uvežbane tehnike samo iz drugih pobuda i sa drugim ciljevima. Ipak, nedostatak samopouzdanja i strah ostaju neophodna podloga za prevazilaženje griže savesti, sramote, retkih trenutaka napada iskrenosti i sl.

Zašto ne prestaje da laže?

Zbog straha. Boji se da ono što stvarno jeste nije dovoljno dobro i da će biti ostavljen. Istovremeno, plaši se da prestane sa dokazivanjem – osvajanjem novih žena/teritorija – jer njegov lik je upravo zato tako pažljivo konstruisan. Ovakav, uplašen muškarac, spreman je na sve i sve su duži periodi kada nema kontrolu nad manifestacijama onoga što jeste i onoga što je izmislio.

U tom trenutku, iako još ne svestan toga, on se nalazi u bezizlaznoj situaciji. Uvežbane tehnike ostaju bez ključnih elemenata, izmišljenom liku blede glavne osobine … i tu počinje sunovrat (nisi dobro videla, nisam to bio ja/volim tebe, ona mi ništa ne znači …).

Kulminacija je blizu i, opet, u najboljem slučaju, muškarac biva ostavljen, potiskuje nemilu epizodu i rutinski se vraća na Fazu 1. Rezultati mnogih istraživanja pokazuju da je ovaj scenario najčešći i da većina muškaraca ceo život provede prolazeći kroz ove dve faze.

Ipak, moguć je još jedan ishod, s verovatnoćom reda veličine statističke greške.

Da li postoje drugačiji muškarci i ako postoje kako je to moguće?

Postoje. To su oni koji su se provukli kroz statističku grešku, što, ipak, kad se primeni na planetarnu populaciju muškaraca – nije malo, izraženo apsolutnim ciframa. Samo ih je teško odmah prepoznati.

Zašto je teško prepoznati takve muškarce?

Prvo, zato što većina stoji u zbijenoj vrsti, zakljanjaju vidik, napadaju u ešalonima i pucaju iz svih oružja. Napredniji primerci čak nauče ulogu normalnog muškarca pa zavlače i, generalno, iz generacije u generaciju su sve veštiji u raznim vrstama obmana.

Drugo, muškarce koji poznaju sebe, poštuju i sebe i žene, znaju šta žele, samouvereni su, nisu sujetni ni ljubomorni – nije potrebno prepoznavati ni tražiti – naći će oni vas, ako ste spremne za takvog muškarca.

A šta ako ste spremne a on nikako da vas nađe?

Nađite vi njega.

Takvi muškarci se najbolje prepoznaju kroz stav prema poznavanju žena. Metoda je nepogrešiva – ako pri objašnjavanju koristi reči LOGIKA i RAZUMEVANJE – imate posla sa prevarantom ili, u najbolje slučaju, potpunim diletantom.

Nepogrešiv pokazatelj je apsolutna uverenost da ne postoji način da shvati/prepozna pravila/predvidi funkcionisanje ženskog mozga.

Ključna reč je – PRIHVATANJE.

Pa toliko od mene do daljeg, ljubi vas vasa tetka Saveta

translation by degaja

Why do men lie? (October, 9, 2011)

After the text why women cry, I received the following question on Facebook:

There is another question: Why men lie? C’mon, find that answer, so that I will snatch both of them, lol … kiss … :*

As a good Advice Aunt I found an answer:

Why do men lie?

This is one of the most frequently asked questions and the answer is not easy. Vanja Lekic will try to help answer this question with studious analysis: how, how much and why men lie.

Vanja Lekic answering

Who are men we are talking about?

Who are men_

Who are men we are talking about? Definitions.

Man is a mammal, primate, Homo sapiens – male.

Man over 200 times a day think about sex (with a woman, with a man, with an animal …anyway). For this  study were used specimens that think about women – because they are in the majority.

Man thinks that one of  his key characteristics is the size of his sexual organ.

Man don’t likes to be low growth.

A man in a certain age starts to believe that he understands how the female brain is working.

Do men lie?

Yes. Most.

How much they lie?

In direct contact with the woman often. In stories about their relationships with women almost continuously.

Why do they lie?

The main reason is uncertainty. This is a necessary basis/foundation for good lying. With the great uncertainty greatly succeed lack of confidence. Thus, man is lying because he thinks he is not good enough and he wants to present himself as someone better, someone who, according to some criteria of the ideal man. Women have a Cosmo, Elle, advertising … and the men lying to each other set criteria.

Lack of confidence, in fact fear as a consequence, it is necessary for a serious and credible lying. Painful enough to initiate a lie and, perhaps more importantly, it is a continuous sense. A man without self-confidence quickly learns the skills of lying, transformation and deception and soon begins to live the life of the fictional / imaginative / not existing ones. During this phase at one moment he thinks he understand women, that he saw and experienced a lot and that he understood the logic, the way women think. Then he becomes very satisfied because he thinks his power to manipulate increased several times. This is a key moment, without which he could not continue, and that is the point of no return. Such a man is in a position to provide a maximum of lying woman, and his behavior gets to the spontaneity because honestly believe that he really is the fictional character. An important factor is the size of the deviation from reality. The more – the better.

What are the favorite topics for woman lying?

Phase 1
While not win the favor of the desired lady, man relies on proven methods. General points are: the number of partners (increases or decreases, if necessary), sexual skills, familiarity with famous celebrities, stories about the demonstrations of physical strength and courage. In extreme cases, for less experienced deceivers, he may use concealment of physical defects (high heels, masking baldness, etc.).

Still, every man armed with a sufficient lack of self-confidence and with that caused fear – is skillful and subtle liar. He had already forgotten who is he really and seen from that point of view, he behaves naturally.

Phase 2
Conditionally from the success of Phase 1, begins when the sympathy by desired lady is received. Then the man uses his knowledge of how female brain functions. Encouraged by the success, continues to use the same techniques, and completely in the role, relaxed on winning territory, he relaxes, becomes sloppy, stops daily checks whether his real ego is locked – and enters the zone of high risk. Because the slightest inattention is sufficient to softly, in the beginning, almost imperceptibly, his real ego starts taking control and transmits feelings. At Ideal case, the negative, thus the connection ends, and a man with more experience starts Phase 1 with another woman.

And what if feelings are positive?

It is a nightmare even for superior deceivers. The consequences can be very serious. However, the practice also brings us examples of men who are willing to abandon deception and accept their feelings.

 

Does such a man stops to lie?

No. Intelligent specimens quickly adapt and begin to use trained techniques but with other motives, and for other purposes. However, lack of confidence and fear remain indispensable basis for pangs of conscience, shame, rare moments of sincerity and similar attacks.

Why doesn’t he stops with lying?

Because of fear. He is afraid that what he really is, is not enough and that he will be left. At the same time,he is  afraid to stop proving – by winning new women / territories – because his character is so carefully constructed. This, frightened man, is ready for anything and there are more often long periods when there is no control over the events of what he is and what he invented to be.

At this point, although he is still not conscious, he is in a desperate situation. Trained techniques remain without key elements, fictional character looses main characteristics … and there starts collapse (she has not seen it well, it was not me / I love you, she means nothing to me …).

The culmination is close and, again, at best, man is left, suppresses unwelcome episode and routinely returns to Phase 1. The results of many studies show that this scenario is the most common and most men spend a lifetime passing through this two phases.

Yet there is another possible outcome, with possibility of probability of error.

Are there different men and if there how is this possible?

Yes, there are. They are those who have pulled through the statistical error, which is, however, when you consider the planetary population of man – is not negligible, when it’s expressed in absolute numbers. But is difficult to immediately recognize them.

Why is it difficult to identify such men?

First, because most of them stands in compacted row, that blocks the view, attacking within echelons and firing  from all weapons. Advanced specimens even learn the role of a normal man so they fool you and, generally, from generation to generation are more adept in various types of fraud.

Second, men who know own self, respect yourself and women, know what they want, they are confident, they are not conceited nor jealous – it is not necessary to recognize not ask for them – they will find you if you are ready for such a man.

And what if you’re ready but he cannot find you?

You find him.

Such men shall be recognize through attitude toward knowledge about women. The method is infallible – if during explanation he uses words: logic and understanding – you’re dealing with a deceiver or, in the best case, complete dilettante.

The unmistakable indication is the absolute conviction that there is no way to understand/recognize rules/predict the functioning of the female brain.

The key word is – ACCEPTANCE.

So much of me until further notice, your Advice Aunt loves you.

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